The Visit
https://thewonderofwillows.bdsmlr.com/post/415137274


She was my favorite type of patient, young enough, educated enough, and from a background that left her vaguely enamored with the idea of power and always impressed by any women who wielded it, even very little. I also had the benefit of being fifteen years her senior and at least four inches taller than she was, and most of mothers at my clinic. Her blonde hair was cut into something like a bob-cut and she wore it well but the short style was a matter of practicality. I always pulled mine back to increase the severity of my look and I think it worked well. It was my clinic and a look of authority always softened the resolve of my patients or their parents. I had also maintained a trim look while a life of long hours at work had left my patient’s mother just slightly doughy though not unhealthy by any means and she wore unassuming clothes, a loose shirt that stretched past her abdomen and leggings, it was clearly an outfit designed for comfort over fashion or showing off. She sat before me in the guest chair of my office while I sat behind my desk, my own seat just slightly higher than her own.

“What did you need to discuss, is something wrong Dr. Galla?” she asked in a concerned, soft, voice marred slightly by creeping fatigue. She was concerned but sweetly composed.

“Well to start let me assure you that Casey is generally quite healthy, enviably so in some ways, he is fit and more than likely to have a good record on the wrestling team if he does join. However there is one thing I noticed, his foreskin seems a bit tight, and he had some minor difficulty retracting.” I told her this brusquely, in my most professional and detached form. I was the truth of course and interpretation becomes key after this.

“Is that an issue? He’s never come to me about it and he never had problems when he was younger.” She said this with concern and the alarm of guilt, clearly she felt this type of problem was a moral failing. It also indicated she might second guess he abilities. I found this a pleasing development and pushed onward in my task.

“Ms. McCallen I can assure you that your son does keep up with his hygiene, I don’t think that is an issue yet but a constricting of the foreskin, called phimosis, is a condition that can arise spontaneously in a young man and which can worsen rapidly with time. Do you know if your son masturbates, Ms. McCallen?” I asked her this bluntly and it had the desired effect, her face fell and she dropped eye contact with me. I had seen a few others turn red at this moment or stammer but she raised her eyes again and returned to form almost immediately. She was no stranger to the world.

“I haven’t caught him of course but I know he has for a while. I find tissues here and there, I can tell from the smell of his room sometime, I think he does it a lot.” She turned her gaze downward embarrassed and vulnerable at the unsurprising and common knowledge of her son’s habits.

“There is nothing wrong with Casey Ms. –” I began

“You can call me Jane if you prefer.” she interrupted

“Of course, there is nothing wrong with Casey’s personal habits, it’s not even really that important, it’s simply that usually one expects this to loosen the foreskin. It suggests even that some of the less invasive treatments are unlikely to work in Casey’s case as those involve stretching, albeit with the help of medicines. Simply put I can only see Casey’s condition worsening to the point where he will be unable to retract his foreskin at all when erect. As you can imagine at his age this would be a serious detriment to his health and not just his physical health but his psychological health. Imagine how humiliating it would be for someone his age to not be able to perform sexually and possibly for their first time. It would likely cause many relationship problems in the future. I realize this is not what you necessarily want to think about with your son but it does matter.” I finished my short speech and she looked down again breaking eye contact with me. I was not surprised at the pause but I shortly would be surprised with her answer.

“Actually, I understand a bit more than you might think. I once dated a man who could not entirely pull it back when hard. He was nice but it interrupted us all the time and it was painful for him and he had other troubles. I’d rather Casey, and his girlfriend, not have to deal with that. It was very unpleasant.” She seemed shocked at her self – at having revealed so much – but she did not break eye contact this time. Instead she looked me straight in the eye and suddenly seemed resolved.

“Can this be corrected, what are the options?” She asked me, she seemed coy now, like she was anticipating something in particular. I felt a happy calm in reaction to her, the shift in her demeanor was something I looked for in a patient’s parent but rarely did it happen so quickly. I was deeply satisfied to see her own experience would shift her thinking so quickly into alignment with my own. This was an exciting moment. I would give her my answer and I was sure she would be happy to hear it.

“Well as I mentioned stretching exercises, even with medical creams would not likely work since Casey does masturbate and that has not helped. What I would recommend instead is a circumcision. It is the only sure cure for this condition and carries a number of other benefits including the reduction of risk of certain STIs and improved ease of hygiene.” I said and prepared to continue but Jane interrupted me then.

“And they’re much prettier.” she said softly and then winced. I ignored it and continued but it was difficult to suppress my urge to smile at that moment. I was already victorious and perhaps had been from the very beginning. Perhaps my patient’s young mother needed no convincing at all. I was happy with that idea. I pushed onward.

“It’s a simple surgery, it requires only local anesthetic and is completely safe, it could even be done here and your insurance will likely cover it given that Casey does have phimosis.” I continued, Jane seemed to be fully invested in my words and I could see she was weighing her options.

“Well I do think it would be better for him in the long run. When he was born the doctor convinced me it was unnecessary to cut him but I wasn’t sure so I sided with him. I always did think it was much better for a man to circumcised though. I just worry he’ll regret it or protest.”

“Well luckily for all involved your consent is still all that is needed and not his. It would also allow you to be involved, and if I’m being realistic, the only time you’ll be able to ensure the quality of the procedure. I always attend to my patients with great care and I worry especially about circumcisions, it’s a surgery where the aesthetic results matter a great deal and I would never be lazy about something so critical. I can assure you we could even leave some foreskin although I don’t recommend that personally.” I finished my second diatribe with a practiced confidence. I often gave a similar speech to wary patients and weary parents. It was likely unnecessary for Jane who was currently thinking but I gave it anyway. In her case I hope it inspired confidence not in the idea but in my own abilities, that she would give control over to me. She soon answered my internal questions.

“No, I think we should do what is best, what do you recommend?” She asked me sweetly.

“Well in my own experience the best option is a decisive one as I have said. It would be a complete operation with the foreskin totally removed and most of the inner mucosa which is the site where STIs are able to penetrate. This would give him the greatest benefit. I will also remove what is called the frenulum, a small band of tissue connecting the glans – the head – of the penis with the shaft. This piece of tissue can easily tear during sex and lead to pain. I will also try to minimize scarring to make it appear as if Casey was never even cut.” I paused to let Jane think.

“It seems like this is the best course of action, you sound like you have a lot of experience with this. How long would it take to heal? Will it interrupt his school work at all?” I was sure that she would be less than thrilled to know how long it would take but chose to focus on the positives.

“He would be ready to return to school within a few days and mostly healed in two weeks. It would take about six before he could masturbate or be sexually active. If this gives you any pause I understand but given that we would soon need his permission now is the time to act if you want this done with an over. I assure you young men are not able to make these kinds of decisions easily. He might be angry at first but I can say with confidence none of my patients was ever unhappy in the long run and some have thanked me.” I exaggerated as so many of us do when we desire an outcome but one thing was true, I’d never gotten complaints. Jane mulled over what I had told her.

“So when you circumcise him he’ll look like other men, no hanging skin over his head, his glans?” Jane asked

“None at all, he will have no extra but I will leave enough to allow for a comfortable erection.” I said, Jane looked away but just briefly before answering.

“Good, it looks so ugly with the foreskin, even his. I hate that look.” She admitted shyly.

“Well this would certainly improve on that and I can assure you that I will do my best to give him a clean look with a neat scar.

“Could we schedule it during the winter break?” Jane asked.

“Of course, that would be a very good time to do it but won’t that interfere with wrestling? He will need almost a month of low physical activity.” I said, wanting to accelerate things, to be certain.

“Your right of course, how early could we do it?” Jane asked, I swear I detected just a hint of excitement in her voice.

“Next Friday is the earliest appointment provided you fill out the forms today.” I said

“Of course, I’ll do what’s necessary then.” Jane replied and I had a hard time not smiling then though I knew there would be one more question.

“How should I tell him though?” Jane asked me sheepishly.

“Don’t worry.” I said, still smiling as I handed her the necessary forms.

“Just bring him in and let me explain it after you’ve filled out the forms. I am a doctor and I can make him see the necessity of it. Besides it’s not like his objections matter yet. Even if he is upset you’re still his mother, and a woman for that matter, this is something where you know best.” She smiled at my confidence and took the form and the pen I had offered.

“Of course Dr. Galla, thank you for your time and thank you so, so much for telling me about Casey’s problem. It will be good to know he’s getting his treatment and frankly better late than never.” Jane said standing and offering her hand which I accepted and shook.

“It’s my job to help, just fill out the forms and set up an appointment with reception.” I said and as Jane turned and walked out of my office forms in hand I could felt the rising swell of victorious pride. Another had succumbed and another young man would lose his foreskin today. Things had be good today.

###

After the Visit
https://thewonderofwillows.bdsmlr.com/post/415137274

I felt so strange signing the papers and handing back to the receptionist, Casey sitting well within earshot, not included whatsoever and not the least bit aware of what was happening. In all honesty I wasn’t sure I had entirely processed what had happened. I felt like I had been led on by the doctor, her commanding demeanor, her unsettling poise, and the simple organized way in which she spoke to me. No, she led me right to a conclusion but, she knew it was a conclusion I wanted that I meant to happen. I’d regretted my decision not to cut, leaving Casey with that dirty sleeve of skin on his penis. How was he supposed to have confidence with such an ugly penis anyway knowing he’d be showing his girlfriends and lovers something like that. What would they think of me? They’d think I didn’t care about him and then that I must not care for them if that was all I felt they deserved. What about me for that matter? I wouldn’t want an ugly penis either. My thoughts were interrupted then by the receptionist.

“Alright everything is set for next Friday will there be anything else?” The bright eyed young woman asked me in a sweet tone. She was so young, in a short time Casey would be working his first real job, likely much like her. Maybe they would meet and fall for one another one day. I banished that foolish thought.

“No I don’t need anything else, have a nice day” I replied and I swear she gave me a short and surreptitious wink as I left. It felt like I’d entered some conspiracy though likely only one that I’d imagined. I turned to my son then and made a small motion to get his attention. It took a second but he noticed on my third attempt and pulled out his headphones.

“Come on, everything is set here let’s get to the car.” I beckoned with my hand again and he rose and followed me. It was the late afternoon and he wore a gray sweatshirt and matching sweatpants that fit in a baggy but almost flattering way. He really was a young man then and nearly as old as I was when I had gotten pregnant with him. Could he appreciate a time gap equal to his own age? I couldn’t have at his age, I could barely comprehend what it was like to be the twenty-four years of his father who had seemed at the time to be so wise an all knowing. We were barely adults then, maybe even children really. It was lucky that Casey’s father had at least seen the value of duty and been willing to support his son financially if not by his presence. Though he did make a real and sincere effort to contact us on special occasions and had even been upfront with his wife about his other son. I did not resent him and I don’t think Casey did either. I strolled out of the building him in tow and we walked to the little car, four years out of date and he got in and then I did the same and started the car and pulled out of the parking space.

“So how did it go in there with Dr. Galla?” I asked as I pulled onto the little two lane road that led back to our little suburb of the city where I worked.

“It went OK.” He was nervous and I could tell, his head was tilted slightly towards the window and ordinarily he had no issues with looking me in the eye. I knew he knew something uncomfortable was coming so I let it pass rather than tell immediately.

“That’s good. I wouldn’t mind some music why don’t you put on the radio?” I said to him.

“Of course, what do you want?” He asked, his posture relaxed notably and I was relieved he would be comfortable for the remainder of our drive. There is something anxious about a conversation like the one we needed to have and the enclosed space would intensify that for both of us leaving little room for real discussion. Not that there was much to be had as final plans were in motion. Casey eventually settled on a pleasant station playing something cheery and electronic but not too dramatic. Shortly before we got back the songs were interrupted by a voice claiming the frequency for the local public radio station. I had never listened to them much but I also never drove much with the easy bus trip to work. The car was just for shopping really. I parked in the narrow driveway and turned the keys to shut off the engine which gave a short shudder as I did. Likely it needed something but I didn’t know what. It would wait I supposed. The house we lived in, that I raised Casey in, was small by any standard. It was two stories but without a basement and only single bathroom. There was no garage and only a scant patch of land that masqueraded as a yard. Still it allowed for a wonderful independence for us and was a quite comfortable home. I did however hope to live at least one other place in my life. We entered the door and then wiped and removed our shoes in the small entry way and Casey did likewise with his sweatshirt revealing a thin white undershirt underneath though it had yellowed slightly with a with time and the fact that is a frequent item he wore for exercise. He began to move towards his room, and his laptop but I stopped him.

“Before you go upstairs there is something we need to talk about. Come on and sit with me.” I motioned to the couch. He seemed surprised, caught in a trap he thought he’d avoided he took on the same far off look he’d had in the car. As always though he complied and walked in a sort of meandering gate to the little two person couch and sat waiting for me to sit beside him. I followed and did the same. I crossed my legs and turned to face him and put my hand on his shoulder but he once more had trouble looking me in the eye and seemed unable to find the will to face me fully, his whole body was turned away just so slightly and it made me a bit sad but also inspired me to screw up my courage and just start as I had in other difficult times and thankfully I found a voice that didn’t falter.

“Listen, back in the office Dr. Galla mentioned you had a minor problem. Did she tell you about it?” I asked him, he still did not turn to me though his cheeks did flush ever so slightly and my own did in sympathetic response. There was a gap of charged and poignant silence between us before he spoke.

“What did she tell you?” He asked, answering my question with his own question and hoping to draw the awkward statements from me. I realized it would be my obligation to press on and so I took the moment while my courage remained.

“She told me you had a personal problem, a problem with your penis. She said it was “phimosis” that means that you can’t pull your foreskin back all the way. It that right? Is that something she explained to you?” I asked him, the blood had rushed fully to my cheeks and his and despite his complexion being a bit darker than mine the reaction was very much there. I felt a tinge of guilt for his discomfort but we were always open and always honest so I pressed forward.

“She mentioned it but it’s OK, she said as long as I can wash it’s fine and I can.” He seemed calm, and though I knew it was false bravado I doubt he would he been able to muster even that were he to know what would come in the conversation.

“I know she said you could retract it while flaccid.” I said. He winced at the details of his intimate person that had been shared with me though the surprise did cause him to turn to me.

“Exactly, so it’s not too big of a deal. She said it would probably go away on it’s own.” He said his false confidence wavering. I could understand this, after all he had so recently become an adult except for the new laws made that allowed for medical authority over dependents with a doctor’s permission.

“No, she said it might but that in her view it was likely to worsen. She said that this kind of Phimosis tends to worse and constrict the foreskin more and more. She said that if a young man was masturbating, and I know you do, please don’t be upset. I’m sorry I had to say it that way but you told her and well I already knew you did so please don’t deny it but, she said that normally would cure it but not with you.” My coherence had diminished, I had lost some control in my agitated state. I felt ashamed and I knew poor Casey felt it more but I also meant to press on and to have this over with I had to say it, to get the surprise out of the way. He remained silent

“Didn’t she tell you that?” I asked him and lightly touched his shoulder. He flinched.

“She did, she told me. How did you know?” He asked me looking down.

“Well she told me too.” I said.

“I mean about, that I…” He stammered and my heart swelled and I laughed more loudly than I thought I might.

“You weren’t discrete about your use of the tissues or the smell, or the sound even.” I said and he cringed visibly but laughed a bit himself. A sort of hoarse laugh, the kind forced to keep the breath from tembling and I knew he was upset and overstimulated.

“It’s OK, really there is nothing to be ashamed of. You know that.” I said and indeed we had had that conversation some years ago as part of his basic sex ed.

“I know it’s OK, I just don’t want you to know.” He said it so meekly I thought he was as vulnerable as he could be in that moment. He had regressed at the knowledge his secrets were known and I felt now might be a fertile time to impress the importance of what I had planned.

“Going back to it though, you can’t retract your foreskin when erect can you? You told the doctor you can’t.” I said in the most maternal tone I could at that time.

“No, I can’t.” He said shamefully.

“Well don’t you think it would be better to be able to? I mean aren’t you interested in girls? I know you and Sam were together last year.” I led him on now. My motivation had been regained and I wanted to build this momentum.

“We were but, I don’t see how that is relevant.” He said, his naivete showed in that time but he soon realized the folly of his statement.

“Well you’ll want to have sex one day if you haven’t already and when that time comes you’ll want to be prepared. What if you did and it were painful? What if you couldn’t orgasm or needed to make yourself do it? Think of how unappreciated your poor partner would feel. Or worse yet if she wanted to use her mouth well what then?” I had escalated things now, a breach had been made and the topic swayed I surprised even myself with my forwardness. I felt oddly whole though and a kind of vigor in that moment. I felt powerful, a feeling so rare for me.

“I don’t know, I – what do you mean?” He stammered now, unsure how to react to the sudden shift in tone and the change in the rule. We had always been open but never like this.

“Well what if she could not retract your skin, what if she couldn’t give you the experience she wanted to? What if you had to bring yourself to orgasm. She’d feel you didn’t desire her and nothing could be worse for your relationship. Besides I can’t imagine you want to have uncomfortable sex.

“I guess – I see what your getting at now. I think that I could show her I care though. I mean she would know I desire her. It’s hard to hide.” He said this in a stammering but sincere tone. I had clearly worried him.

“Of course that is true. I doubt you’d leave her any room to think otherwise, except doubt has a way of creeping in when intimate moments are interrupted. I should know.” I declared the last bit forcefully and he reacted to that news with a physical stutter that while brief left him forced to regain his posture and composure. Though his composure was cracking.

“You really believe that?” He asked me tentatively.

“I do.” I told him with all possible firmness.

“Besides she would expect your glans to visible, the foreskin is an eyesore.” I added abruptly. He started, clearly a nerve was struck and he was offended

“That, you can’t be serious, you can’t think she’d be that shallow.” He said, I had made him angry, just a bit. It felt a bit good and I felt a bit guilty.

“In fact, I think the uncut penis is really quite ugly.” I emphasized the term uncut and could tell I had left him shocked again. His mouth gaped open but he closed it immediately though he was forced to clench his jaw just a bit to keep it that way.

“You don’t mean that.” He was indignant and almost whiny but wavering. He seemed dizzy.

“I do mean that. I think uncircumcised penises are ugly.” I continued with confidence.

“Why would you tell me this? I don’t understand?” He was struggling now.

“I’m telling you this for your own good, I’m telling you this because I care about your future. You’re growing up and you’ll be going to college soon. I know it seems far away and I know you’re not even sure what it will be like but I am telling you right now you’ll meet so many young women there. Maybe even the love of your life and I want things to go smoothly with them. I want you to know what you might miss over some skin.” I added just a bit of pleading to my voice. I hoped he would catch.

“I know you care, I just. I don’t understand what’s happening right now. I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me.” He said his own voice pleading in it’s own right. He really did not understand.

“Listen, Casey, what I’m trying to say is – well I discussed it with the doctor and she recommended – yes she recommended. That you be circumcised.” I said, I felt nervous once again.

“She what, well what did you say? What did she say?” He was frightened now.

“Casey, Please calm down. She said you should be circumcised.” I said, hoping he would understand the subtext, guess at what had been decided.

“And what did you say?” he asked. He had not understood.

“I said yes and, well, I also signed the consent. You’ll be circumcised next Friday.” I said. I was nervous but the shock on his face and the fear they made me sad and drove my maternal instincts. I wanted to comfort him. Some other part of me though was so satisfied by it. The doctor, what she had said. She’d awakened some new side of me.

“Please no, please.” He pleaded now, it made me so sad but I had no desire to concede. This was best, it was it should be.

“It’s for the best, please trust me.” I said, and I did mean it.

He said nothing then. He merely went silent and I knew he was in turmoil. He always went silent then. I opened my mouth but he simply turned away, stood, adjusted his clothes, and began to walk to his room. I simply stayed put. I heard him close the door but not slam it. He was angry but I had won. I was satisfied for now. He’d see things my way soon enough. When he met the right girls he’d know I’d done the right thing and one day he’d be thankful. I was merely sad to know the next two weeks would be so stressful for us both. Still I was happy.

###

The Second Appointment
by thewonderofwillows

https://thewonderofwillows.bdsmlr.com/post/418108728

Light streamed in through the window, his alarm clock blared, it was roughly when he’d wake for school. Today he wasn’t going to school today was entirely different, today he was to undergo something he dreaded. It wasn’t fair, it was ridiculous. He was an adult in so many other ways but in this one case, in regard to his most intimate self, he was still a child before that law here due to the new measures passed. He wished then that he could have a conversation with the idiots who had decided that. He wondered what they felt gave them the right? He wondered more why his mother would be for such a thing. Why did she change so radically and so suddenly? What had convinced her that he should suffer so? There was nothing wrong with his foreskin and she knew it, it wasn’t dirty or ugly like she had said. It retracted easily enough to wash, in fact it was partly retracted right now due to his state or morning arousal. He did admit to himself that it did not push all the way back when hard but so what? Just the very tip of his bare glans was pressed against the thin material of his boxers and as he shifted in his bed the rubbing of the material gave him a mild pleasant sensation. His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Casey, I know it’s still early but if you’re up it’s really very important you shower today and get very clean. You know we have the appointment today.” His mother’s voice was clear and sweet but also demanding. She was enjoying this whole thing. Didn’t she understand what was happening to him? It was his penis being modified and she was so nonchalant so coldly and totally willing to alter it. The conversation they’d had had been him screaming in anger which had turned to calculated but desperate arguments then vigorous begging and then finally meek pleading. She was intractable in a way he had never seen her before. He wondered if she truly hated foreskin so much in general or merely his. She had been clear that it was something she found ugly so he supposed it was probably that she hated them in general. Of course this begged the question of why and how he had been left uncut. He supposed it might have been his father’s doing. He never knew the man but hoped suddenly and vainly that he might appear at least briefly to intercede on his behalf. I caught myself pausing in hope of some intervention but none came. He stroked his foreskin up and down a few times in vain, its progress was halted about halfway down his glans.

He finally rolled out of bed, his erection now subsiding. This was to be expected as he had spent a great deal of time masturbating in the past few days. He thought it might be some subconscious urge to enjoy his foreskin while he still had it. A sort of last rite before his cutting. The whole thing felt so oddly ritual to him. His mother’s insistence on beauty, the doctors probing personal questions about his masturbation habits. Her notes of the almost imperceptible constriction of his foreskin when she had retracted it. He swore he had seen her eyes light up when she noticed that and if that were true it seemed so horridly wrong for a doctor to feel that way about a patient’s illness. This was all so wrong on so many levels. His mother’s awkward attempts to assure him his penis would be beautified and that girls would prefer it had been exceedingly uncomfortable. He did have to admit that her utter persistence did likely mean many girls felt that way. He also had to admit that she was essentially admitting her own tastes and that made him a bit uncomfortable. It also made him a bit uncomfortable, though oddly excited, to think that she would forever view him as having a more beautiful penis. He pulled on an old undershirt and opened the door his mother was there waiting for him and smiling. She had her hair pulled back in a clip and wore her pajama pants and a similar shirt to his own.

“Good morning, I know you’re probably a little nervous but don’t worry everything will go great today. I know it. Now got wash and be really thorough, you know the Dr. Galla will be seeing all of you today.” She smiled some more and he saw her eyes drop and briefly examine the bulge in his underwear. He dropped his eyes from hers in shame and felt his cheeks flush. Did she have to objectify him like this, or was it some sort of twisted maternal pride? Her little boy being made into what? Was he being made into a man, or into some sort of prize for some potential future lover? She’d been so insistent about being circumcised as a thing his future partners would prefer. He did not know what to make of that really, it seemed slightly Freudian of her. He wondered if Freud had ever considered a reverse version of the sexual obsessions of men. Were women equally pathological in those regards?

He walked by his mother without a word. She wasn’t even bothered by his silent treatment. She just kept smiling. He got to the bathroom and took his toothbrush from the cup and squeezed the white paste onto it. He began to brush and did so vigorously, he felt so full of nervous energy and every stroke of the brush felt so impulsive and mechanical, like this too was out of his control. A betrayal of his very body, just like his constricted foreskin. Why did late phimosis have to be the thing that made him unique? Hell even if it were just his penis that were unusual why couldn’t it have been in terms of size? He laughed to himself at that, expelling air through his nostrils. He rinsed his mouth and entered the shower. He languidly shampooed his hair then rinsed and began soap himself. He savored his time then enjoying the heat of the water in the cool fall morning and hot lather that formed as he washed. He got to his manhood last and soaped his penis and scrotum. Carefully retracting the skin of his flaccid organ and then soaping and rinsing the glans. Was it really worth cutting off his foreskin when hygiene was so simple? He began to grow hard, a nervous unhappy arousal. He tried not to think about it and began to stroke his skin back and forth. His mind wandered at first to the girls he liked and then to the sweet redheaded girl he’d dated so briefly last year. Her smell and the taste of her lips. She hadn’t been upset at his extra skin when she’d stroked him so competently under the skin. Though she had showed no interest in giving him oral and he’d heard she’d done so many times. Was that really it? He began to soften and forced his mind to go blank and continued stroking. He was enjoying his body, his penis, and this moment. Soon his penis would be forever modified. He wasn’t looking forward to that. He was interrupted by a hard knock on the door.

“I understand wanting to enjoy it while you can, it will be a few weeks, but I do need you to hurry.” His mother called to him. How could she have known what he was doing? Had she timed her interruption for maximum effect? He doubted she could have but she could not have planned it better. He was still rock hard and finished stroking. He came then, and he came hard, hard enough that his knees buckled and he felt dizzy. He came too in a few seconds and finished rinsing and turned off the shower. He let himself drip. Paralyzed with anxiety for a few seconds in post orgasmic clarity he stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel. His motions returned to their cold mechanical form and he was dreadfully aware of time’s passage. Each second seemed to press and he was certain he could feel them all. Like Galileo his pulse would measure the time. His penis seemed to deflate slowly, possibly due to his emotional state? It twitched a bit from time to time. He dried off and wrapped himself in the towel and then opened the door letting himself out. His mother was perched outside still smiling with glee though now she had changed into day clothes. He was painfully aware that his penis was still half swollen and made a considerably bulge through his towel. He saw her eyes flick to it.

“I hope you’re all ready now. Did you make sure you’re totally clean?” She spoke with joy and her pointed question made it clear what she meant and also that she would not leave without a response from him.

“I was thorough.” He said with a dripping resentment. He moved past her quickly. Her eyes trailed him as he went to his room. He shut the door but didn’t slam it. His indignation was changing to a surreal acceptance and things felt a slow and languid. He pulled on his underwear easily as his penis had finally deflated entirely. The he pulled on his track pants, loose ones, as he had been instructed and then pulled on a loose shirt and sweatshirt. He emerged from his room but his mother wasn’t waiting as he might have expected. He proceeded to the kitchen where she waited for him. She had let her hair down, though it was not so much hair. She had clearly combed and styled it. He noticed she had changed her top as well to a nice blouse that might be appropriate for work. He noticed also that she had done her make up in the way someone might if they were attending a formal event though not a sad one. He was disgusted to think she might even see this as a celebration of some sort. A milestone for him, no, a milestone for her. A thing she was getting to do after wanting it for a very long time. A thing she wanted so badly that whatever had awakened her longing had allowed it to assert itself with a vengeance. She was taking her last chance to do this too him before he could protest and he hated it, though he did not hate her. He recognized, or believed he did, that she must believe it was the best thing to do. The thing was did she see it as best for him or just best in some more general way. She had always been so assertive in asking about his love life it seemed as though this must be some greater way of intervening.

“Are you all ready?” She asked him.

“Yeah, let’s just go.” He said and began to walk with her following. He opened the door and walked to the car stopping at the passenger door. She followed and then walked past him to the driver side and unlocked the car. She opened the door and entered and he followed suit. He shut the door and the clunk left a dreadful finality. His mind felt blank and his body numb. His mom started the car, let the engine warm, and then began to pull out. The car ride was silent but and tense for him though he could tell she felt no tenseness whatsoever. She was totally happy with her decision. It didn’t bother her in the slightest. Buildings, signs, trees and pedestrians streamed by the window as he looked out. Neither of them bothered to play the radio but it would not have mattered as neither would have been able to focus on that. It was just to tense and nerve wracking for him and he thought it was likely to exciting for his mother. They reached their destination, the small strip-mall where Dr. Galla’s offices were located, where she did her exams and outpatient procedures. Thinking of it now it was a bit surprising that she and he mother had taken to each other so well. They seemed so sweet together and his mother followed the other woman’s every word like it was some delightful narration she was indulging in rather than normal practical conversation.

They parked and his mother stopped the engine and opened her door and exited the car. She seemed like she was bouncing now. She exuded a positive energy that would have sickened him, that did, but like everything he felt removed from it. He would be sick later on. They entered the office and his mother and he went to the counter. The young pretty receptionist greeted them cheerfully.

“How can I help you?” the young woman asked.

“We’re here for an appointment, Jane McCallen and Casey McCallen. We’re here for a circumcision.” Her voice bubbled with joy and he could swear the young woman’s brows raised with excitement. It was probably an unusual request. Perhaps even this verbal exchange helped break the monotony for her. He imagined that endless bookings of wellness checks would probably be boring. He found it disturbing that to them this was all such a game. It was his penis being modified, they would be so mortified to have their own medical concerns discussed. Everything felt hazy. The receptionist passed some forms to his mother who signed them with a flourish. Then they went and sat down. He was suddenly and acutely aware that he had grown taller than her some time ago. It added weight to the already oppressively unfair circumstances in which he found himself. The waiting room was mostly empty and the only two others in the room waited alone. They were soon called and he realized he would be the first of the day. They went into a room with a bench, screen, station of instruments and screen. He realize the screen was likely to make sure he had some modicum of privacy. He was relieved and then horrified to realize it might mean he mother would be in the room for his cutting. His mother sat in the chair while he stood.

A young nurse entered then and greeted them sweetly. She took his pulse, his height and his weight. She noted each of them curtly on a clipboard. She was a portly middle age woman with neatly coiffed hair and matronly attitude. He was glad she wasn’t young. It would have made him feel smaller than he already did. She left the room after that and then returned shortly after with three items. A gown, a cup or water, and a pill. She placed the last two on the counter by a sink.

“You’ll have to put this on.” she said to firmly and handed him the gown. He took it with reticence.

“You should also take this, it will help with anxiety.” She said to him indicating the pill. His mother looked on with a determined countenance. He put the gown on the bench and walked to the counter. He swallowed the pill and drank the small cup of water to wash it down. Whatever medication he had just taken was strong. Unless it was only his imagination he felt it begin to take hold immediately. A forced calmness, more a deadening of his emotions began to take place. The nurse, noting that he had taken his medication left the room promptly. He walked over to the bench. He looked at the gown and then at his mother imploringly. She made no motion, just smiled and looked back at him.

“Could you…?” he began motioning to the gown.

“Just go behind the screen.” His mother told him.

“I just, could you please go.” He pleaded.

“No, I need to be here and you know that. The screen is there for a reason so you need to use it.” She said sternly. Whether it was the medication or not he felt obliged to comply. It was certainly the medicine that allowed him to pick up the gown and walk behind the screen without stumbling with anxiety. He slowly peeled off his sweatshirt revealing the thin cotton shirt beneath and then that as well. He looked directly at the screen and realized that he could easily see the very distinct silhouette of his mother in the chair, dark but sharp and without faded lines. He began to take off his pants and thought of turning away but decided not to. Let her see the outline of his penis, his penis, that would be modified today. It would be modified because she was forcing him, because she wanted it. The doctor might have recommended it but she could have interceded. She could have protected him, not forced him to do this. He felt tears well but they would not come. He lowered his underwear, paused, and looked down at his foreskin. He felt the tears again and retracted his foreskin one last time looking at the smooth moist glans that would soon be forever exposed and dry. He hated the thought.

“No time for play, put on the gown.” his mother said sternly. Embarrassed at the realization that she saw him fondle himself he put the gown on and fastened the string in the back. He went back to the bench and sat down. He crossed his legs, a small protest.

Dr. Galla and the nurse entered then. The nurse carried a tray of instruments.

“Good morning Casey.” Dr. Galla said to him, smiling brightly. She was very beautiful, her chestnut hair gleamed and she had also done her makeup.

“Good morning.” He croaked at her.

“Good morning, Jane. How are you feeling?” She was on a first name basis with his mother, he would have reacted by the anxiolytic was working well. He was calm.

“I’m feeling wonderful Dr. Galla. I’m so pleased to get this done.” She said and chuckled sweetly. The doctor smiled at her.

“Well no point delaying. Why don’t we get to work. What do you think Casey?” It was asked rhetorically, there was no escape for him.

“OK” he croaked. Dr. Galla reviewed the nurse clipboard then had the nurse put down the tray of instruments.

“Lie back on the table Casey.” She instructed. He complied without hesitation knowing there was no other choice. He felt so vulnerable. The nurse went to move the screen so it blocked his mother’s view. She made no motion to leave.

“Are you sure you want to stay Jane?” Dr. Galla asked.

“Yes of course!” his mother answered. Casey did not care any more if she stayed though he was grateful for the curtain. The nurse then abruptly lifted his gown, coaxing him up as she did. She grabbed a spray can and sprayed his exposed genitals. Then she grabbed a bottle cold liquid and cotton balls and began to sponge the area around his exposed genitals. He swore that his penis tried to retreat but it was of no use. She grabbed hold of it and pushed back the foreskin and swabbed that too. Dr. Galla fiddle with instruments behind the nurse and loaded a syringe. He noticed she had donned gloves at some point and realized that the nurse wore them as well. He wondered how he could have missed that. It was a trivial detail. Dr. Galla turned to him brandishing the full syringe.

“Ok I’m going to give you and anesthetic. Hold still this will hurt.” She said in a commanding tone. In a single fluid motion she stepped forward, grabbed his penis at the base, and proceeded to inject him. She did so swiftly and with incredible practiced grace. It hurt excruciatingly but and he winced but it was over before he knew. He let out his breath and realized he had been holding it. Dr. Galla returned to her instruments. She also donned a surgical mask and a sort of blue wrap-around garment similar to the one he was wearing. She also changed her gloves and the nurse did the same. He felt a creeping cold sensation in his penis and testicles and realized the anesthetic must be working.

“Jane, I’d like your attention for a moment.” Said Dr. Galla addressing his mother. He felt like they were ignoring him. He felt small and vulnerable.

“I’m going to use a new kind of clamp for Casey today. This new design is for maximum removal of tissue and especially of what is called the mucosa. This layer of tissue is were STIs penetrate. It is the healthiest way to circumcise. I will also remove Casey’s frenulum. That is a small band of tissue connecting the shaft of the penis to the glans or ‘head of the penis. Is this to your satisfaction?” Dr. Galla asked

“Yes of course, just make sure you take all the extra skin. I think the smooth look is nice, no wrinkles for him.” His mother asked, she giggled at the end of that, as if it were a joke. He could not feel anything though, the pill had emotionally anesthetized him as well as the topical injections had numbed his penis. He felt sleepy in fact. His senses blurred.

“Lets begin.” Said Dr. Galla and in one swift motion she moved from the instruments and was holding his penis. She pinched and pulled his penis sharply. He felt only a slight tug and coldness.

“Do you feel this?” She asked

“No, no pain.” he said flatly.

Dr. Galla began without further words. He felt the tug and then pressure as she swiftly split his foreskin with scissors, then deftly switched to a clamp. She clamped then cut something from under his glans and then affixed a plastic clamp and locked it. She sliced off the remaining skin

“All done.” Said Dr. Galla. Just like that it was over. The whole thing done, no drama or adieu. The sun shined on and the clock ticked on the wall over the instrument cabinets.

“Thank you so much doctor.” His mother chimed in. She giggle again.

“Jane come join me in my office. I will give you instructions on aftercare for Casey. Casey you just rest for a bit and when your ready you can change and join us.” Instructed Dr. Galla. His mother stood the nurse gathered the instruments and they all left the room. He simply laid still and let what had happened sink in. That was it, he was circumcised.

###

After The Second Visit
by thewonderofwillows

https://thewonderofwillows.bdsmlr.com/post/423205686

With the pill still in effect Casey was silent besides me in the car. He dozed besides me placid for now though sure to be resentful and haughty later on. I knew that he was upset with me but, I also knew that I was right, knew that I did the right thing for him. It was his health after all, his love life as well that would be positively effected by my choice and I stood by it. “Thank whoever for the new rules” was all that I could think in this scenario. I looked over at him now and wondered if her was pretending to sleep but doubted it. I think between the anesthetic and the anxiolytics he’d been given it was unlikely he could fake anything. His hood was pulled over his head an had mussed his hair and the fringes of his hair and face were sweaty. I knew he must be warm but doubted he would appreciate any further interference, or any further hoods removed. I laughed to myself at that and then felt a bit mean. He was my son, my poor inept boy. He would learn though, he’d know in time what I’d done was right. I wondered if the suggestions about lessened sensitivity were true? Well if they were too late, and it was most likely a good thing anyway.

He stirred slightly besides me and I suddenly felt nervous, wondering if there would be an early confrontation between us but he just shifted slightly and returned to his slow breathing. I knew once the pills wore off I would have to actually confront him again about my decision. I knew once healed he’d accept what had happened. I had always been proud of his resilience and his adaptability. I was certain that he’d see things my way soon enough. Once he met a girl, someone who would smile at him and in more private moments smile with delight at the thought of his nice and cleanly circumcised penis. I liked to think she would delight in it – though of course I knew she would love it as she loved him – but, I wanted her to love it that extra little bit. I wanted her to find it clean and pleasant to explore, to not fail her in key moments and to give her pleasure as she needed. I wanted his penis to be an instrument that provided her pleasure and built their mutual attachment, she would return for him as a person surely but, her orgasm as reward would be a fine thing too and the thing that helped her decision to stay just a little bit easier. I knew these things after all, I knew what that little extra bit of ease or pleasure could change. It wasn’t a thing easy to communicate but when you do so much work in a relationship so many small things can make a difference and tip the scales in a decision to stay or to go.

There was a stop sign then, we were approaching our little abode. I looked him over then and noticed that despite his underwear there was a small lump where the clamp attached to his now modified penis. His penis that I had modified. I knew he had some right to be upset and my sympathy welled then. What had been done was certainly invasive even if it was a good thing. The feelings of the present are however, not beholden to future gain even in situations where it was certain there would be gain. It seemed like maybe that was our deepest flaw, that we are always so focused on the present when we’re young. It was a source of so much misery for us and so much discord with our parents. I know with me it had been the same. Well here was my source of discord with Casey, would it be as bad as when I had moved out and married Casey’s father? Would he be more forgiving of this more minor thing, would he simply accept it? I knew how vulnerable that little lump showing in his pants would make him feel and resigned not to mention it. I giggled a bit thinking of how childish and small it would make him feel. I felt a tinge of guilt at that too but I supposed it could not be helped really.

We made it to the driveway and I coaxed him gently awake and he stirred and looked at me with the bleary eyes of the drugged. I had no medical training but enough fun in your young life to recognize sedation. The unfocused pupils and slightly uneven breathing, the open mouthed inhale, and sudden recognition of movement if not the cause or the purpose were all signs of his intoxication. The infantile, I wasn’t sure if that was correct, willingness to follow along with directions was there too. I gently coaxed him and he began mechanically to undo his seat-belt and then to open his door. I quickly undid my own, opened my door, and then went around to his side to help him. He had opened his door part way and was in the process of standing up. I quickly grabbed him under his arm and helped him up and we stumbled together to the door. The car doors remained open. I wondered if he could feel his resentment right now, if he was upset at my touch. I doubted it as I didn’t think he could think of much. I cooed some soft assurances as I had when he was younger and took him to his bedroom and laid him down.

I began to undress him then first pulling off his sweatshirt and then very gently taking down his sweatpants. I noticed the shape of the clamp was far more pronounced in his underwear and felt both pride and sympathy in great measure. I pulled the sheets over him lovingly and planted a small kiss on his forehead. I next went to the kitchen and drew a small glass of water before returning it and placing it at his bedside. I then realized I should go immediately to fill his prescription, before his awoke and walked out swiftly closing the door softly on my way out before resuming my efforts. I walked swiftly down the hall, my confidence in rare form. I had a mission to accomplish. I exited the house and realized I had left the car doors open and felt a bit silly but no harm was done. I went first to the passenger side and shut the door then to my own side and entered the car and started it. I drove to the little pahrmacy no more than eight blocks away. Normally I would send Casey to walk but he was indisposed and I needed to return quickly. I strode to the pharmacy and handed them Dr. Galla’s script. The pharmacist looked at it, twice actually, and seemed a bit confused but then told me to wait.

I took a seat and browsed aimlessly on my phone. Hoping I would not get any calls from Casey. I didn’t however and soon enough I was called by the pharmacist. I received the little bag and took it happily offering my copay. I walked out quickly, not breaking the momentum that propelled me. I returned to the car and made my way swiftly home. Once there I took the little bag and went to check on Casey. He was still sound asleep and stirred slightly but did not seem interested in getting up or even able. I was glad for that and noticed he had not touched his water. I wasn’t sure if that was good but doubted strongly if it was bad, it probably just meant he had slept through my absence. I was sure he was very tired. I went downstairs and poured myself a glass of wine and sat on the couch for a few minutes. I sipped it slowly and felt relief, the worst of it was over and I was happy for that, well I hoped it was over. I quickly pushed that feeling away, it was natural to worry but Dr. Galla was a professional and she knew what she was doing. I was sure she wouldn’t make any mistakes nor would there be complications. I decided to watch something and took my laptop from the coffee table and opened it. I typed my password and brought up whatever I had been watching the night before. I just needed the noise at that point. I clicked play and allowed myself to be engulfed in the streaming distraction.

Suddenly she was aware of shuffling and then the unmistakable creek of Casey’s door and realized he must have gotten up. I rushed over but the bathroom door shut before I could say anything. I waited anxiously at the end of the short hallway where the doors to both our rooms and the bathroom were located. It was probably best I didn’t crowd him. He exited the bathroom a short time later. I exhaled deeply in relief. His eyes were still glazed and I was he still shuffled but I was just happy he hadn’t fallen.

“Are you OK?” I asked as I rushed to him and put his arm around me to support him.

“Yeah I’m fine” He mumbled and slurred it just a bit but he seemed ok.

“Let’s get you back to bed” I said and we shuffled back to his bed. I guided him gently and lay him down. I made sure he was on his back.      I noticed then that the end of he had failed to put his penis back through the fly of his underwear. I was taken aback at first but then curious. I looked at the little device attached to the end, seemingly just two plastic pieces formed into a clamp. They fit entirely over his glans. It attached just under his glans and the skin of his shaft was pulled tight. She must have made good on her promise to remove it completely. I felt so excited at that, yet I felt also the tug of empathetic pain. It was such a rush. I covered him and returned to my show.

The next few days were a rush. I made sure Casey got his pills on schedule, both of them. I do not know what they both were but it was Dr. Galla’s specific instruction. Casey was a lot less upset than I had thought he would be. He did not seem to be in any pain either. He seemed oddly calm and often a bit out of it but Dr. Galla assure me that was a common side effect of the medicines she had prescribed. It kept us from talking much at first. I knew that we wouldn’t much anyway, probably for a while. Though it pained me I knew I had done the right thing, I knew he would be happy one day. If he were not then I could not be blamed for his short sighted and simple view. He would not feel that way though. I knew he was a better man than that, I had raised him better than that. I returned to work that Tuesday which was a huge relief to me. I loved Casey of course and hoped for the best for him but it was important to return to normality and people I could talk to. There were none of course that I felt close enough to talk to about things as they had happened so I just left it vague, no one pressed me except for Sarah, the only woman I worked with who I saw as more of a friend than just colleague. Still I chose not to tell her right away. 

Casey returned to school the day after that which was another relief. It also meant a lessening of the dosage of the medicines he was taking. Just one of the first pills in the day at lunch and one of the second ones in the evening after dinner. After the second he was often willing to talk a bit, though never about any difficult subjects. It was nice to see him chatting a bit more and, it didn’t seem like there was any anger harbored behind his voice which was a similar relief to me. The time passed in a seeming flash and before I knew it we were already at the one week mark since the surgery. I was thrilled and wished so deeply to have a bit of insight into how things were healing. Casey had even stopped taking his pills after a few days claiming he had no pain at all. I was so proud of him then and the bravery he displayed. Of course with the end of the pill regimen came the accompanying silent treatment I had dreaded, so deliberate in its intention and delivery. I was afraid of it but could bear through. I simply told myself it was s normal thing and continued on with confidence. That Saturday was a bit hard and I was a bit sad at the lack of interaction but was more than content to let Casey lounge and watch his shows as he pleased.

It wasn’t until Sunday that we got out next big development. We were going to enjoy a late breakfast. I had made everything we liked, toast, eggs, coffee, and a few other small comforts. Instead of eating on schedule however Casey called to me from the bathroom after his his morning rituals and asked me to come to him. I did immediately, hearing the concern in his voice.

“What is it?” I asked him outside the bathroom door, I pressed myself against it to try and hear him.

“It came off!” he said, he sounded panicked. 

“What did?” I asked calmly despite my own rising concerns.

“You know, the thing – the clamp she put on me.” he said, choking through his words in both anxiety and reluctance. Suddenly I understood and understood his reluctance but I was glad he had come to me and announced it.

“Oh, I see.” I choked out meekly and paused for a minute. I had to compose my words.

“Well according to Dr. Galla that should happen soon anyway. Are you feeling OK? Is there any pain? Any blood?” I asked him, I used my most parental voice hoping it would trigger some deep reflex and goad him into answering. There was a deep pause, and I waited nearly breathless.

“No, no pain or blood. I don’t know if anything is wrong.” He said, the anxiety still rang clear in his voice.

“Listen why don’t we try and call Dr. Galla” I said to him. She had given me her personal number for emergencies. Hopefully this constituted that, she intimidated me a bit, though in a way which somehow made me feel so confident after. It was a confusing thing to meet someone like that and, I supposed it was what people meant when they spoke of charisma.

“Will she talk to us?” He asked, still concerned but less so now.

“She gave me her number encase we had questions. Why don’t you come out OK?” I asked him, imploring him with my own concerned tone of voice.

“Alright I’ll come out.” He replied and I heard the door knob start to turn and moved away form the door which stuck slightly from humidity and then opened with a start and Casey came into view. His eyes were wide with panic and he was breathing raggedly. He was wearing a long sleeved shirt and light athletic shorts. I noticed that unlike other days there was no bulge from the clamp it really must have fallen off. I took out my phone and dialed the number Dr. Galla had given me and switched it to speaker. I motioned to Casey.

“Come on let’s go sit down in the living room.” I said and then beckoned. 

“OK” he replied briefly and then followed. We sat down besides each other on the sofa and I held the phone in my hand. Breakfast cooled rapidly in the other room and for some reason I thought of how we’d have to reheat it. 

“Hello, this is Dr. Galla. How can I help you?” Her voice was clear as crystal and at once dominated the room.

“Hi, it’s Jane, Casey’s mom. You remember from last Friday?” As I spoke I realized I was no longer in charge of the conversation and it gave me a small shock to realize it. While this woman was on the phone I was no longer in the authority in my own house. I was glad for it at the moment though.

“Of course, the circumcision. How is everything, is Casey alright?” she asked.

“Everything is fine I think it’s just the… thing on Casey’s penis fell off today.” I said, stammering out the last words.

“Well this is nothing to be alarmed about. Did Casey tell you this, is he there?” She asked with total calm. 

“Yes he’s here, sorry your on speaker.” I said and felt a bit of embarrassment. It was rude not to mention.

“Well that will make things a bit easier then. Casey I have some questions for you is that OK?” Dr. Galla asked. Casey continued to look mortified and his he looked at me in distress.

“I’m here. I mean sure.” He managed to croak out and looked at me for assurance.

“OK Casey listen, is there any bleeding at all and are you in any pain?” Dr. Galla asked.

“No there was no pain or bleeding.” He said.

“Now any significant swelling or numbness?” Dr. Galla asked him, her voice left no room for disobedience or reluctance. 

“No, neither.” He replied.

“When and and where did this happen?” Dr. Galla asked.

“In the bathroom this morning after I – after I urinated – I noticed the clamp was loose and well I pulled at it just a little and it came right off.” He said, unsure if he needed to use the medical term.

“That is good Casey, and it came off with no pain?” Dr. Galla asked.

“No, no pain at all. I did not realize until it was off.” Casey told her, he had gained a little confidence and seemed to forget my presence.

“OK listen Casey, I know you and your mom are in the same room right?”

“Yes we’re on the couch, she is holding the phone.” He said. I could sense a bit of uncertainty returning to his voice now.

“Listen, Casey, what I ask you next is going to be a bit embarrassing but I promise it is for a good reason. A lot of young men your age are nervous about these things and sometimes they don’t report them accurately so in order to avoid that I want to you to do something for me that might upset you. Are you ready?” She asked, her own tone oddly maternal.

“I am going to need you to show your mom your penis now.” Dr. Galla said. I was floored. This was a totally new development. I could not imagine how poor Casey felt. As my senses recovered however I realized very quickly that I was not entirely opposed. In fact it seemed clear that this was the best course of action.

“What? No? Why would I need to do that? I’m an adult, and I’m not lying to you. Why would I do that?” He was clearly hurt and I could see his point, still I thought the doctor was right. It was possible for both of them to be.

“Please Casey, I know this is difficult but it would really help me. I want to make sure you’re OK and that things are healing normally. It would really help me to know since I’m not there to see what’s going on. It would only be for a minute. Can you please do that for me?” She did not really ask, the question was rhetorical. I couldn’t read Casey’s feelings at that moment as I had trouble meeting his eyes. His breathing changed a bit, it grew faster and then shorter. Suddenly I resolved myself and realized if he was to be comfortable I needed to be. I steeled myself and brought my gaze to his. His own eyes were wide and pleading but as before I knew this was best and prepared myself to be stern if needed.

“Please be good” I mouthed to him in the same way I had when he was just boy on the boarder of misbehaving at some social event. He looked at me with his wide frightened eyes.

“It’s OK.” I mouthed noiselessly, just as I had when he needed confidence.

“Is it really going to help?” He asked Dr. Galla, and he seemed a bit broken in the asking. He turned his eyes from me as he asked.

“Yes it will help. I need someone who is not directly the patient to describe things for me. It would really help me a lot and it will save you some stress. It is just a few question very brief. Where are you in the house now?” Dr. Galla asked.

“We’re in the living room.” He replied.

“So there is a place for your mom to sit?” Dr. Galla asked.

“We’re sitting now on the couch.” He said.

“Is it possible for anyone to see in Casey?” She asked him.

“No the blinds are closed.” He said meekly.

“So only your mom will see and only I will know. It’s OK, this is just medical. I need to know what’s going on. Do you want to get hurt just because you were embarrassed?” She was still giving an order rather than asking a genuine question but I was impressed with the way she could order and implore so seamlessly.

“If you think it will help. I guess.” He didn’t stammer but instead shocked us both by standing up in front of me and dropping his shorts. He looked away and squeezed his eyes tight. I gasped at the abruptness of the action. My eyes were drawn now to his pubic area. His penis stood out boldly atop the short bed of pubic hair. His mauve glans was fully exposed and any swelling had subsided. Just above his glans there was an angry reddish black line that seems a bit swollen and I realized the clamp had been there. It looked nicer already.

“What is going on?” Dr. Galla asked.

“He um, he did as you asked.” I stammered.

“Well that was quicker than usual.” She replied, her voice sounded happy. She was enjoying this. In truth I was a bit too.

“What do you see? Any serious redness, inflammation, or bleeding?” Dr. Galla asked

“No blood at all that is for sure.” I said with confidence, there really was none at all. It was a neat job.

“That’s good, really the most important thing. What about swelling or redness?” asked Dr. Galla.

“No really redness, the line where is attached, it’s a little red.” I said.

“You mean his crush line? That is normal. It should heal over into a scar before much longer.” Dr. Galla said.

“I am not sure about the swelling, what should I look for?” I asked

“Just see if there is any noticeable puffiness of his penis, it should look unusually large next to his scrotum. The shaft would seem very swollen compared to the glans, or head.” Dr. Galla relayed the information at a practiced speed. I wondered how many of these she had done. I looked some more but it did not seem there was any disproportion between the shaft and glans or “head” as she had called it. Casey still refused to open his eyes.

“No I don’t see any difference although is looks like his head, his glans, is very wide.” I said. I felt flushed describing my own son’s penis in such detail but reminded myself it was a medical thing.

“That is probably fine, provided Casey is reporting no pain I think there is no issue here. Casey are you still there?” She asked.

“I’m here.” He replied, his eyes still shut and his head turned away from me.

“You can pull up your pants now, it’s over. Dr. Galla said. Casey sighed loudly enough that the pitch rose as he forced his breath out faster and faster. He swiftly pulled up his pants and sat back down.

“Listen it sounds like nothing is wrong and that Casey is healing very well.” Dr. Galla related the welcome news in a bubbly tone.

“Of course thank you doctor.” I replied relieved both for the news and also that the awkward interaction would still be over.

“Your welcome, please call me if anything at all concerns you. I’ll want to see you anyway in the next four weeks or so to check on things. Casey remember no sex or masturbation until then and report any painful erections. Erections are fine if they aren’t painful” Dr. Galla warned him sternly.

“Of course Dr. Galla.” He whimpered.

“OK is there anything else?” She asked

“No I’m fine.” I replied. Casey shook his head.

“OK I’ll let you go now, Bye guys.” She said.

“Take care and thanks again” I replied. She hung up the phone.

“Can I go?” Casey looked at me with imploring eyes and I nodded my ascent. He left abruptly and gently closed his door. I went and covered his breakfast and went to reheat my own eggs and coffee. I ate silently full of conflicting emotions.

The next few weeks passed in a blur. Life returned to a normal intensity for us and I was soon thinking of work more often than Casey and his operation. I assume he was soon thinking about school more and his friends as well. He went to visit a few after school and a few came to visit him. We did not need Dr. Galla’s personal number again in that time. It had taken only a few days since the clamp had come off for poor Casey to start having erections again. He thought I didn’t notice them. I am sure most boys don’t think others can tell, and probably pray their moms don’t. We do of course. I saw them from time to time in the morning. I could tell from the dark circles under his eyes that some of the normal ways of soothing himself to sleep were not available to him. I felt such compassion for him then but my resolve was unwavering. I had done the right thing and was so proud. Maybe after his wait he’d go and find some nice girl to relieve him. It was clear from some stains he left at night that he needed that badly. Still it was such a relief to know he was healthy and functioning

It was a few weeks later than I again got to see the object of my fascination. It was a Saturday morning and getting a bit late. I went to wake him then only to realize he’d kicked back the covers and that his morning erection had somehow found it’s way through the fly of his pajama pants. I should have left him for the sake of propriety but instead I stayed and looked. Did I not deserve that at least for my efforts? I just wanted to see if he was OK. The scar was the first thing I noticed. It was a light read now, thin and even and just below his head, his glans. The glans itself was a sort of dark pink and seemed rigid and glistening in the morning light it was noticeably wiser than the shaft now and I wondered if there had been swelling. The skin below it certainly was pulled completely tight. It was so beautiful now. I felt so much pride well up then, and as I noticed the droplets of clear fluid at the tip I realized that something was welling up from him too. I laughed at that and then quietly left to let him sleep. He had such a nice penis now, a thing of pride. I was so excited to meet the first young woman who would enjoy, take in her mouth and then inside her. I knew he would please her and her him. I felt so warm knowing I had done so much good for his future by circumcising him.

###

The Third Visit
by thewonderofwillows

https://thewonderofwillows.bdsmlr.com/post/425759352

I was distracted by anticipation the entire day – I’d go so far as to say it felt electric. I had only gotten to enjoy such an experience a few times in my practice but I did love it when I got to. A young man pressed by his mother and I into a modification he didn’t really want. It was a delight, a little drama I could milk and manipulate to my own delight. Of course it was almost always one the mother loved as well and I enjoyed their shared enthusiasm as deeply as any other part of the whole thing, perhaps the most deeply. I loved that they would delight in their son’s modification, that they would see his cutting as a way to further sisterhood with other women and that they would see him as their instrument in pleasing other women. I enjoyed that immensely though they never explicitly stated their reasons it was easy enough to know what they wanted. It was also nice to know it was my own physical intervention which marked the penises of those young men. I loved that too, knowing that one day a tongue might caress the very spot I’d severed his foreskin. I had to let my thoughts return to the present though, they would be here shortly and I didn’t want to accidentally reveal the purpose of my efforts.

I checked the time, they were certainly in the waiting room participating in the eponymous activity. It made my stomach flutter, the thought of their anticipation of my pronouncements. It was a nice thought, a very nice one indeed. I would get to see the end result of my work and in the case of my young patient I was sure it would be beautiful. His name is Casey, I thought to myself, I modified a penis that belonged to Casey and I did so with his mother’s consent. I remembered them all as individuals and it made my enjoyment all the greater. It would be Casey’s future wife who was pleasured by the penis I had modified. It would not merely be some anonymous woman acquainted with that delightful organ. I could literally list the names in order I had enjoyed each circumcision so much. Even if each young man ended up never finding a partner it was still a wonderful thought that he would likely remember me and what I had done to him for life and that he would have to relearn how to pleasure himself and enjoy that most intimate part of his body. Given how those young men had all looked at me I would be surprised if any avoided a woman’s touch for long. I was taken from my day dreams by a knock at the door.

“Come in.” I spoke with an invitational tone, knowing it was Patiricia no, Pat.

“Jane and Casey McCallen are waiting for you. I finished their preliminaries.” Pat said leaning her head through the door. Her face was always so fresh and bright in the mornings and I had long suspected she must be one of those irrepressible people.

“I’ll be right there, thank you Pat.” I said, and I did mean it with gratitude. It wasn’t a mere formality.

“Do you need me for anything else with the McCallens?” She asked.

“No, go attend to the next person.” I told her

“OK” she said and closed my door.

She had called them “the McCallens” it took me a few second but I soon processed the significance of that. I immediately recognized that she like me understood a sort of possessive quality that any relationship between a man and a woman involves. It was Freudian perhaps but she had immediately recognized the maternal possession of young Casey’s penis by his mother, by Jane, it was a relationship now all the more strongly bonded by Casey’s circumcision. She had raised and cared for him and had so many times made a decision in his best interest and to the best of her abilities. Now she had done so one final time and what a delight to have participated in that. I couldn’t help but smile as I stood and donned my lab coat and stethoscope. I would have to take further steps to reinforce that lovely possessive relationship that Jane had with her young son. I would have to make absolutely sure that it was reinforced for him and her for the last brief time that he and his penis could be said to be hers and in her care. The only question of course was how but this one I was able to answer to myself with only brief thought. I would yet again contrive to expose his now healed penis to her. It even occurred to me now that this was the very thing I had done during their phone call some weeks ago. I had felt thrilled them but I hadn’t placed the origins of my desires and feelings. It had not been Casey’s embarrassment that had left me thrilled by instead my vicarious joy through Jane.

I realized I had to go now and walked to my door, opening it slowly and carefully closing it so it did not slam. That always set my teeth on edge and besides it would alert my patient to my coming. I did love when it was a surprise for them. I turned left past the room where we did tests and then into the short hallway with doors to the three exam rooms and the receptionists room. It eventually opened onto the large waiting room. I went to the second room, the room where I was sure they were waiting for me and opened the door.

“Hello Jane, hello Casey. How are you both today?” I said with a satisfied smile as I entered the room. Casey sat on the examination table and his eyes were downcast. He was dressed once more in athletic wear and his same gray sweatshirt that I guessed he must love. I wasn’t sure if they had been talking. Jane on the other hand was sitting in her chair, dressed in clothes best described as business casual but which flattered her frame. She smiled brightly displaying he immaculately care for teeth and greeted me.

“Hi Dr. Galla. I’m wonderful today thanks. We’re so relieved to be here and have this whole process over with. Aren’t we Casey?” She said in a chipper tone. Poor Casey took his time to process and respond.

“Yes, it’s good to get this over with.” He responded drolly, barely looking up as he said it. It was clear he would not enjoy this. I would enjoy it all the same.

“Well I am glad everyone is happy. I think that is just excellent. Casey could you remove your sweatshirt so we can begin?” I asked. He slowly stripped off the garment and placed it on the exam table. He seemed reluctant. Given that my effort had resulted in his circumcision I was not terribly surprised. It was silly though, what else could I prescribe for him now that would be so unpleasant?

“Your shirt also.” I advised and he slowly and stiffly removed that as well. He was in very good shape and I was impressed by his physique. I began to proceed with the tests now. I placed my stethoscope on his back and listened to the perfect rhythm of his heart. He had an impressively low resting heartbeat, a sign of good health.

“Now take a deep breath.” I told him and he did so.

“Now another.” I said again. He did so again. I detected nothing anomalous the boy was in perfect health and I was impressed by his lung capacity. It was certain he exercised. I finished checking he cardiovascular health and now proceeded to get my opthamoloscope. I checked his ears and throat, noting that even his breath was fresh and it was very likely his mother had had him brush his teeth before the appointment as well as bathing. It was a touch that I really felt was kind and endearing. She had wanted me not to be disappointed by any odors on his part. Of course I would not have been but it was still quite sweet.

“Now please lie back on the table facing upwards. Tell me if you feel any pain when I press.” I instructed and he did so wordlessly, still not quite able to make meaningful eye contact. I touched his abdomen near his diaphragm and he shivered at the touch of my fingers. I was surprised by this as I knew my own body temperature was a bit on the high side, despite that my fingers would he a bit colder. I realized quickly that his shivering and downcast eyes might very well be signs of sexual attraction. An attraction I could not blame him for and certainly one deeply exaggerated by his inability to masturbate for a full six weeks. His poor testicles must be so full, I mused to myself. He must had been a walking erection before very long too. The idea of his frustration was so sweet and so pleasant. He must have had to fight his urges constantly. Jane must have been pleased at having to buy fewer tissues as well, though she have to buy him some sort of lubricant after this, I mused to myself. I continued with my exam checking for abnormalities though I was sure there would be none. Casey’s stomach muscle flexed under my touch. Jane merely sat and watched the whole thing in silence. She smiled coyly and shifted he legs a few times. I wondered what she thought. Perhaps she was anticipating what would come next. 

“Any pain” I asked at I pressed just below his liver, a bit harder than I should have. He grimaced a bit.

“No.” He replied tersely. I smiled.

“OK then sit up Casey, it’s time for the next part of the exam. Will you please stand up and lower your pants?” I asked, fully aware that I had skipped the part where I would ask if he preferred his mother leave us. Jane’s eyes lit up at my question and she sat up slightly and crossed her legs again. Casey merely sat up and seemed to anxiously anticipate what was coming.

“OK Casey could you please stand up now and take down your pants?” I did not ask it, not really. My voice was firm and demanding, I was not at all imploring him but making what I wanted clear. I felt tense and wondered if he would obey or resist. Would there be a struggle for dominance, one which I would surely win. I looked forward to my answer. Casey did meet my eyes this time and his pupils were clearly dilated and, his breathing tense and short. He began to move now and slowly he stood. He moved stiffly like a prisoner and I supposed he was. He was standing now and then he bent down pushed the waist of his track suit pants down over his underwear and then shuffled out of them. Jane stared intently. Finally Casey stepped out of his pants and pushed them slightly away with his foot. I wondered if he were being intentionally obstinate or if he had really misunderstood my intention. Either way I enjoyed that he was already humiliated by what was occurring. I noted also that he wore boxer briefs through which the outline of his glans, the glans I had permanently exposed, was clearly visible. I looked at Jane and while she had averted her eyes I could tell she looked surreptitiously at her son’s glans outline. He did have a nice sized penis and well proportioned. It had been so fun to work on it.

“No Casey this is for the genital exam. I need to you to take of your underwear as well.” I said in a stern tone. It was clear however that I would need to do a bit of work to get him to take down his underwear.

“But, I…” he stammered and then tilted his head towards Jane, indicating her presence as a stumbling block to his disrobing. I deeply wanted her to enjoy the sight of his healed penis and resolved to play Casey’s game.

“You don’t need to be ashamed for her sake Casey. I am sure she is just as interested in making sure your healthy as you are in getting this done with. Besides it’s nothing she hasn’t seen. I was on the phone with you that night.” I said and tried quite hard not to smirk at him. He cast his eyes down again and his cheeks began to flush. I’d swear I even saw his penis twitch slightly in his underwear. Jane remained coy and silent. I realized I would need to lead and engage her as she had relinquished her power to me.

“Surely you don’t mind do you Jane?” I asked her, playing coy myself. She seemed to snap from a trance at my question.

“No, no, it’s fine I can go.” she said and began to stand. I acted quickly to stop her.

“No please sit down. What I mean is you certainly don’t mind being present at the genital exam do you? I am sure your not squeamish about it. You did change him and make sure he washed under his foreskin after all.” I said. I made sure I pointedly mentioned the foreskin and the effect on Casey was delightful he winced visibly. Jane on the other hand sat back down and pondered. I thought she was seeing my game now.

“No, I would not mind at all. I think I would have no problems being here. Would you really mind honey?” She directed the last question at Casey and used a sweet maternal tone I’m sure she’d used many times with him as a child. It seemed to work as his rigid stance softened a bit.

“I just don’t think it’s appropriate mom, I just don’t know. I think it might be better if this was in private.” He said, with only a hint of conviction.

“Well if you really believe that I can go but, I really don’t mind. I could look away or close my eyes.” Jane said this in the same sweet tone but kept her eyes on me and they fluttered slightly. I could tell she had lied about not looking or was not thrilled at the idea of missing the sight.

“I don’t know it just seems sort of private. I just don’t want you to see me.” He mumbled looking down.

“I know but, I have seen you already, when your clamp came off. Remember?” She kept up that same tone, it must have been one he knew well. He must have been easy to raise if a sweet voice was all it took to keep him in line. Meanwhile I was enjoying the small drama occurring. Casey continued to stare at the ground. I broke the tense silence then.

“Casey listen, it’s well within your right to request that your mother leave for this exam. However given your surgery I think it is best she stays so that she can learn all she can about when you might need. Won’t you please just consider it, I really think it’s best.” I said. He looked up at me with his still wide eyes and seemed to plead silently but I could tell he was defeated. He would be the subordinate to his wife one day. I could tell.

“I guess, I just, please look away mom OK?” he asked, looking at her with his pleading eyes now.

“OK. I promise I’ll look away.” Said Jane and she dramatically turned away.

“Now, Casey, please lower your underpants.” I said. He looked down and then complied slowly sliding the boxer briefs down revealing first his neatly groomed pubic hair (I was impressed with his forethought), then over the base of his penis, and then finally revealing his genitals fully to me. Jane sat silently watching but not watching the whole affair. I could tell it took a lot of effort on her part not to look and her legs flexed subtly. I loved her contorted and curious posture.

“OK I’m going to being with the testicular exam Casey.” I said, he merely nodded in ascent. I reached down and took his scrotum in my hand, feeling behind each of the small globes for irregularities. Perhaps I was imagining it but they felt heavy and full. I was sure they nearly ached with pent up sperm.

“Do you feel any pain?” I asked as I palpated the region.

“No” He replied.

“Has there been any pain tenderness or swelling?” I asked now I rolled his testicles between my fingers to check for lumps.

“No none.” he replied with comforting surety and quickness.

“You should check at home for lumps at least once a week just like I am doing. Jane you should remind him.” I said and chuckled slightly to myself as I suggested it and his testicles twitched in my hand.

“I will check but I don’t need a reminder.” He quickly responded. I loved it.

“Alright, now let’s see how you have healed from your surgery.” I said and abruptly let go of his scrotum and turned my attention to his penis. I had be trying intensely to ignore it but now I was fixated. My work had been excellent. Even flaccid the skin was smooth and tight. He had a neat bright pink scar just above his nicely shaped glans and I could not help but smile.

“Have you had any pain since your surgery?” I asked as I grasped his penis in my hand.

“No, Dr. Galla” He replied. His penis was so warm and heavy in my grasp and he was so vulnerable. I admired the delicate straight scar where I had cut him.

“Has there been any itching or irritation?” I asked him.

“No, I mean not really. Just maybe some, the head kind of itches when it rubs my clothes.” He said and glanced over at Jane who continued her feigned disinterst.

“That’s totally normal. It means your glans is keratinizing and will lose a bit of it’s sensitivity.” I said in a matter-of-fact tone. I watched his face fall as he processed.

“You mean it will stay less sensitive?” He asked with horror.

“Yes of course but it won’t mean you won’t have pleasure and most men see it as a positive. Women take longer to reach orgasm than men after all.” I said in reply.

“Stamina is good.” Jane said and giggled before regaining her composure. Casey was mortified. I turned his penis in my hand then flipped it upwards. The frenulum removal I had done was very complete and I loved the little grove underneath his glans where is had been. Such a neat result. I could feel his penis start to engorge with blood just a bit, it had been so long for the poor young man.

“Have you had any nocturnal ejaculations, wet dreams?” I asked him this invasive question purely for my own enjoyment.

“A few yes.” He stammered and blushed again.

“Alright looks like everything is in order and your nicely healed. You can put on your clothes now” I said abruptly. This seemed to snap him back to reality. He began to dress as I spoke. Jane turned back to look at us.

“Casey, Jane, the circumcision is totally healed. Casey you can now masturbate and engage in sexual activity again.” I pronounced loudly.

“Now I’ll have to buy extra tissues again. His penis really is much nicer circumcised” Jane said with a giggle.

“Not appropriate.” Casey moaned as he pulled on his tshirt

“Well I think that is all we need. Casey, Jane it was so lovely to see you. Call me if you have questions.” I said

“Thank you so much Dr. Galla.” Jane said with an ear splitting smile. I knew she felt privileged to be so involved.

“No problem. Take care Jane it was lovely to see you.” I said and shook her hand.

With that I walked out. I was thoroughly satisfied and so happy to see another lovely penis sculpted by my hand. I even wished to try this one but that would all be a fantasy. I did hope to hear more from Jane though. I really did.

###

After The Third Visit
by thewonderofwillows

https://thewonderofwillows.bdsmlr.com/post/428277537

The car ride home was quiet once again. It had been the second time he was compelled to show his penis to his own mother and it was humiliating. The penis that she had decided he would have, it made it so much worse to think of that. He could feel his glans rubbing against his pants right at this very moment. Soft or not he had been aware of the rubbing for weeks at that point. It was a constant reminder of his altered penis. He had been aware of it all through school and it had made paying actual attention a nightmare for him. Worse yet the lack of any sexual outlet had left his thoughts constantly fixated on the many young women around him. He didn’t understand his mother’s insistence on the idea of his penis being “prettier” or nice for that matter. It was true his foreskin was a bit tight but just a bit, and he could orgasm without a problem. Jenny could attest to that he thought ruefully, she hadn’t seemed to mind that his foreskin caught just before his corona as she’d stroked his penis on her couch that day. The though was arousing him and felt himself stiffen a bit, the reduced skin of his shaft starting to pull. He fought hard against the process and was luckily able to distract himself.

“How are you feeling?” His mother broke the silence and it caused him to stir from his ruminations. He hadn’t expected the question and was taken aback by it, what did she think he would feel after all that happened? He wished he had had the power of will to say no to the doctor. She was so commanding though and, he admitted begrudgingly, beautiful. It was hard to say no to her, and he realized hard to say no to his mother too.

“I’m ok, what do you mean?” He replied, and he had not intended the second part.

“Well it’s just that… well it had to be stressful for you in there. You seemed a bit reluctant during the exam.” She said with a what seemed to him like a feigned nervousness.

“It was just, a little abrupt and a bit embarrassing. I mean it’s twice now that she, Dr. Galla, pushed to have you there and see me…” He trailed off now, unsure if he wanted to think of it and to finish. He wanted so badly to end the conversation but once more his conviction was too weak.

“You’ve been so brave through this, you know. I think most young men your age wouldn’t have been comfortable with a woman as their doctor for a circumcision. I think Dr. Galla is wonderful though and did such a good job don’t you.” She was so cheery and his penis twitched slightly when she mentioned that she thought the doctor had done a good job. Did she really think that sort of thing about his penis? It made him angry though that she described him as brave. He had wanted anything but what had happened.

“I don’t know, is it a good job?” he asked, hoping for no response and hoping his derision was clear. His mom had the strange habit of ignoring his sarcasm and pleas for silence. It was something he thought wasn’t unique to him either, he was sure she did so with others.

“Well the scar was neat and straight.” She said it so brightly and cheerfully that he felt his stomach sink. It was like this was some game to her. She had made someone modify him in the most intimate way imaginable and she talked about it like a hair cut. He wondered if that was how women in general really thought of men, or at least penises. Like they were toys to them.

“Jesus mom.” he balked at the sudden over sharing on her part. He swore it was like something had changed in her. She never would have previously made such comments.

“What it’s true, she did a very nice job and I think that the scar looks nice. It’s a nice feature to me. I mean don’t you think it’s better to have a nice neat one?” She asked it sweetly and casually like she were asking about a sweater and not the scar on his penis. A scar from a surgery he didn’t want. Still that same penis seemed to respond just slightly to being talked about.

“It would be better not to have it at all. I was fine before.” He realized too late that he sounded as if her were pouting and felt weak in that moment. It was no surprise he’d so willingly let himself be cut or that he let the doctor expose her twice. He wonder if the pretty doctor were behind his mother’s knew outlook on things. It seemed like the changes had only started to take place recently. In fact he was sure it was a recent change even if it were subtle.

“Now don’t say that. It’s a good thing that Dr. Galla did for you. Even if you didn’t have any “problems” before. Circumcision has lots of benefits like preventing STIs and that is important. Besides most girls will be more familiar with cut men.” She continued in a chastising tone, the tone one would take with a child who begged for candy.

“How would you know what girls my age are familiar with? Besides I would be careful you know that we had sex ed in school.” He continued, now feeling some fire in his statements and hoping it came through in his voice.

“I know what girls will know because when you were young I would help babysit some of the neighborhood boys and I can assure you they are all cut. I know that almost every woman I have ever talked to agrees that it’s nicer and better and would have their son cut or they did. What’s so bad about me wanting what’s best for you?” She was still stern but he could detect the very beginnings of a smirk, she knew his protests were in vain now and was enjoying this too.

“So what? You couldn’t have babysat them all or talked to them all. Besides it’s not like it would be impossible for them to learn what to do.” He said, now more exasperated than angry.

“Well they aren’t going to learn on you now.” She said with a slight chuckle he felt his cheeks redden and felt angry at that though it subsided quickly. He was silent and it soon became apparent she was aware that she had stuck a nerve.

“That was uncalled for, I’m sorry” She said and it seemed genuine. He was still silent and the momentary anger subsided “I’m not sorry for having you circumcised though. I wish I had done it earlier and I’m sorry for the pain you experienced. It’s for the best though really and it looks so much better now without the ugly skin.” She continued

“Well that’s your opinion though.” He blurted out, his hurt was obvious. She had really thought his foreskin was ugly, that was her motivation.

“It’s not just my opinion, it’s a fact that most women prefer a circumcised man. There have been studies done. I’ll find you one if you don’t believe me.” She said calmly and he realized that she had almost certainly anticipated this whole exchange. He didn’t know if he was impressed or upset. Perhaps he was both at the moment. They would both be appropriate he supposed and that the feeling of both was not surprising.

“Even if it’s true that means some don’t.” he responded and felt like he were once more reduced to pouting. 

“Well ninety-one percent prefer it for oral sex.” She responded calmly and smiled.

“Mom! I can read it myself.” He responded with shock at how openly she discussed the topic.

“Well I’m just trying to tell you what I read. Besides you want that don’t you?” She was sincere, it was obvious.

“What do you mean, do I want them to prefer it?” he was embarrassed now and felt his cheeks flush. This was more open about anything sexual than she had ever previously been.

“Don’t be silly, I mean do you want a girl to perform oral sex on you?” She asked with no irony and no pause or sense of guilt. It shocked him that she would be so direct and he desperately did not want to answer. He very much wanted to answer in a way which would not leave he feeling like she had gotten him to confess too.

“I mean I guess I do. I just think there must be something wrong with that study.” He stammered now. It had not been a decisive reply as he had hoped.

“Well even if there were something wrong with it I can tell you all the women I know agree with it.” She said and she was back to her sweet smile now. He honestly wished she would stop he oversharing.

“What do you think?” He blurted out and suddenly regretted it. He had just escalated things beyond what even she might be comfortable. He thought of backtracking but it seemed to him like it might be too late now. He did feel a bit of courage though knowing he might be the one pushing boundaries now.

“Yes, I much prefer a circumcised man, especially for that.” She said after a short pause. She was almost unphased by it. It was a powerful truth she had just spoken. His penis, his most intimate organ had been modified to fit his own mother’s sexual taste. It wasn’t even for some incestuous reason, it was because she saw him as a vessel of sort. He was her way of spreading her love for other women. Of course she hadn’t said it but it was what she meant. It was a strange feeling and he wasn’t sure if it was good or bad. She had always asked invasive questions if he even mentioned a girl he liked and now it all made sense. It was so cohesive to him. 

“I mean it’s cleaner, it looks better, it feels much nicer. There is nothing about it which isn’t better.” she continued and he felt himself flush and his penis stir and realized with horror he was half aroused. “Besides now that the doctor has given you permission don’t you think you ought to try it out?” She continued with out pause.

“Jesus, I – let me figure than part out please.” He said and was sure he sounded like a child. He felt like one too.

“Well I know you used it before. I found the tissues. I can find some lotion if you need it.” She said and chuckled. He was mortified now and was certain it showed. He just stayed silent knowing he had been defeated.

“Sorry, too far. Let’s see what on the radio.” She said and he was glad for it. She moved her hand and fiddled with the dial before finding a song they could both agree on. He wouldn’t have cared what the song was at that point he was just happy to have the previous conversation done with. Soon she settled on a song, one a few years old and decided it was good enough for them and they finished the ride in silence. 

Of course the silence didn’t mean that he wasn’t still flustered by the conversation, in fact his head was reeling with the ideas presented. Was it selfishness, kindness, or something else entirely that had been the motivator behind his circumcision? He knew it was far from merely being a medical thing his mother had made that as clear as she possibly could. Was it more than that for the doctor as well? He guessed this was true in addition to that. It had been so much information she had just given him and he could barely fathom the glimpse into her non maternal life. Had she insisted her dates in the past be cut? He wondered now. Although if what she had said about how common it was was true then it wouldn’t be hard for her to find men who were cut. He also couldn’t take his mind off of his penis which was now still partly engorged and that bothered him too. He was sure it wasn’t attraction to his mother and he was certain she did not feel any towards him. It just was so strange that he would be aroused but he chalked it up to the fact that he had had no sexual release for weeks and had been tormented by the nearly pleasurable but somewhat unpleasant brushing of cloth against his glans.

They arrived at their home now and his mother pulled into the driveway the song was still playing and he realized they must have been nearly home when the conversation ended. He hoped that it would not be too awkward that afternoon. He also hoped he might spend some time alone that night. As his mom exited the car he took the opportunity to adjust his pants so that his penis was not revealed to be filling up be the thin cloth. Then he unbuckled his seat belt and stood. He walked ahead of his other wordlessly and then realized he didn’t have his key and had to wait for her at the door. She took her time walking key in hand and he dutifully moved form her path when she got there. He noticed her own cheeks were just slightly flushed and wondered if she felt a bit of embarrassment or shame herself at her frankness. He wasn’t sure he’d ever know but he thought she might. When they got in he thought of going directly to his room but given his mother’s comments decided instead to go to the living room and watch TV. He wanted the noise and wanted to be distracted for the moment. He also wanted to ensure that there would be negligible conversation for now and that his own mind would be occupied. His mother went to the bathroom and he turned up the volume on the television. Eventually he settled on something about sports, some documentary, it seemed interesting enough and he watched with partial interest. His penis refused to stop it’s own partial excitement however and her resigned himself to that. His mother emerged from the bathroom then.

“What should we get for dinner?” She asked calmly as if it were the easiest thing in the world and none of the preceding conversation had occurred. “I think we’ll order. Pizza and salads?” She asked.

“Sure that sounds fine.” He answered 

“What are you watching?” she asked.

“It’s some sort of documentary about soccer and the history of one of the clubs. I thought it looked interesting.” He responded.

“Let me change and I’ll come and watch with you.” She responded and twirled with a small flourish and walked off to her room. He just sat there numbly and adjust himself again annoyed at the stubborn way his penis refused to soften. In fact it was nearing the point where it would start to stand he thought. His mother returned in her house clothes and sat on the other side of the couch to him. She had her phone in hand and fiddled with it.

“What toppings should we get?” she asked.

“How about sausage and onion?” he asked.

“That sounds good.” she said and messed with her phone some more. “It’s ordered” She said with smile then tuned to watch the show.

They sat like that for a while and then when the pizza came they got that and watched in front of the television. She got herself a glass of wine and to his surprise poured one for him too. They ate in silence and finished the documentary then switched to watching a movie that he had seen and she had not. Eventually she got tired and went to bed and he decided to stay awake a bit more and finish the movie before returning to his own bedroom to browse on his phone and then sleep. When he got to his room he removed most of his clothes except his underwear, it was the tight kind meant to support his penis while it healed, and then got into bed and plugged his phone into the charger next to his bed. As he prepared to look through that nights media he realized something was on his bedside table in the glow of the screen. He thought it was strange and turned on his light. Besides him sat a bottle of liquid and he look took it in his hand and looked at it. The label indicated it was lubricant designed for skin. He was shocked at first but laughed to himself. Of course she had made good on her promise to get him some. 

He would have been too outraged at the realization to use it, he would have thought. But his penis began to stir at the thought and he began to feel the need within him. It had been some time and he wondered how it would feel. He could feel the skin of his shaft get tight, it had been so tight since his cut. He couldn’t even move the skin when fully hard the way he had. His glans, which had now started to numb, broadcasted the sensation of cloth of his underwear now. He wanted to touch himself so much. He lowered the band of the underwear and extracted his penis. He pulled at it gently to test it and rubbed his palm over his glans. The act itself was uncomfortable so he tried instead to massaged his shaft just under the glans. He quickly discovered the tension on his scar and glans was very pleasant though he felt it was definitely diminished. H tried to stroke as before but had so little movement it proved impossible. In defeat he opened the bottle and poured the lubricant into the palm of his hand and rubbed it over his penis. The change in sensation was immense as his palm slid over the glans and now he began to stroke again bringing his hand up and down over the glans. He continued finding his rhythm, matching his breathing to it. He pumped faster an faster now, the crescendo of his orgasm building and for once he didn’t care about minimizing the wet slapping of his hand or the slick sound of it. He could tell what he had read was true, that his glans had become less sensitive but his pleasure was still immense and he didn’t care now. He was in a solipsistic trance of pleasure as he stroked and then suddenly he was rocked with the first wave of orgasm as he continued to stroke and stroke while semen erupted from his penis. He moaned unconsciously then and finally when it was too much ceased his stroking.

In the other room his mother listened with satisfaction knowing that her gift had gone to use and that her son would soon be putting his penis to better use.