http://www.speculumpages.com/Page18/EarlyTrauma.htm

Buck and Billy, Peter's uncles, had scheduled an appointment for him to be circumcised. Now as they were driving him to the doctor's office, Peter fidgeted uncomfortably because he feared going under the knife. Uncle Buck had told him there was nothing to worry about because he'd be put to sleep for the surgery, but Peter was still very anxious.

Peter was born in Paris in 1923, unlike most of his family that had been born in Texas. His father had married a French woman, Pauline, and when he'd been killed in a traffic accident, the family encouraged her to move to Cade City, in Texas. One day Peter's cousin Johnny, Buck's son, had walked into the bathroom when Peter was taking a bath, and he'd seen that Peter still had his foreskin. When he'd mentioned this to his father, Buck had told his mother that Peter should have that taken care of as soon as possible so that he'd be like his cousins. Pauline had explained to him that French people didn't circumcise their boys, viewing this as a primitive mutilation practiced only by primitive tribes, but Buck insisted that this was America, and all red- blooded Americans boys should be circumcised. With pressure from the rest of the family, Pauline had let them have their way.

Peter remembered the meeting when his uncles had told him of their decision. They'd told him to undress, and had looked at his long nippled foreskin with disdain.

"You've got a doggy dick," Uncle Buck had said. "You don't want to have a doggy dick like niggers and meskins, do you?" they'd asked him. Peter had up until then thought little of the configuration of his penis, and didn't understand why he should have the skin nipple over the end removed. Uncle Billy had fingered Peter's long foreskin nipple contemptuously.

"Look at that. Only boys from the wrong side of the tracks have willies like you," Buck had said. "Boys from good families have that dirty skin removed, and you should too, so you can look like your cousins. Parents who can afford the best for their kids have it done, but parents who are too poor, or too ignorant, leave their kids' willies looking like doggie dicks." Peter protested, but in 1933, what kids thought didn't count, and they decided that he would be circumcised, like it or not.

The nurse greeted them and took them to the small operating room the doctor maintained. She instructed them that Peter should remove all his clothes before the doctor came in, and left them alone. Peter was shy about being naked in front of both his uncles, and maybe the doctor's nurse as well, and resisted. However, the two husky uncles soon had him out of his clothes and standing nude in the room.

When the nurse returned, he covered his small genitals with his hands. He shivered with fright, although the room was warm with the summer's heat.

"Better put him up on the table," she told them, ignoring Peter's frightened expression and the tears that had begun to run down his face. They manhandled Peter onto the table and held his struggling body in place until the doctor came in a minute later, accompanied by the nurse. Peter's eyes opened wide with embarrassment at being scrutinized by the group.

Doctor Carlisle was their family doctor, and he had delivered all the children in the family. He had also circumcised all the boys within a few days of birth, ripping the foreskins from their tiny organs as they struggled helplessly in the nurse's grasp. Now he inspected Peter's penis, drawing the foreskin out to see how far it would stretch, then pushing it back from the head.

"There's a lot of skin there," he commented. "I'll have to cut off a lot to free the head." Peter's young body convulsed against the grip of his uncles' strong hands pinning him to the table, and he moaned loudly.

"Seems like he doesn't like the idea," the doctor said with a chuckle. "Well, we'll just put him to sleep and he won't be any trouble." He reached for a gauze ether mask and handed it to the nurse, who fitted it over Peter's nose and mouth. In 1933, ether was a commonly used anesthetic, and the mask was a convenient way of making the patients breathe the vapors.

"A good shot of ether knocks 'em out real fast," he said as the nurse dribbled ether from a can onto the gauze. The heavy choking fumes filled Peter's lung and he coughed and choked, but within seconds he was woozy from the effects of the ether. Peter moaned softly as he slipped into a chemically induced coma. The nurse kept drizzling ether onto the mask, but more slowly, now that Peter was anesthetized.

"You can let him go now. He's under." Peter's uncles stepped away from the table but remained in the room. They didn't remember their circumcisions, and had not seen it performed on their sons, which is why they were very curious about the procedure.

The doctor swabbed Peter's genitals with pink antiseptic and wiped off the excess with a gauze sponge. Then he picked up Peter's foreskin and once more stretched it out beyond the tip.

"The first step is to cut off the excess," he explained. He clamped the foreskin with a hemostat at the same angle as the ridge of Peter's glans, visible through the tightly stretched foreskin. Then he swept a scalpel down the front of the hemostat, severing the foreskin with one stroke. He removed the hemostat and the remaining skin drew back behind the rim of the glans, leaving the inner layer of foreskin still covering the head.

"Now we'll remove the inner layer," he said. He slipped scissors under the thin mucus membrane and slit it to the rear. Then he grasped each side of the slit lining with hemostats and pulled the remaining tissue back to expose the blood-red head.

"Now I'll cut it away around the shaft," explained the doctor as he began cutting the thin membrane skin away from Peter's penis. Fully anesthetized, Peter didn't react to the cutting. The doctor cut the tissue away on the right side, down to the bottom, then began cutting away the left side. He dabbed the cut line with a gauze sponge, removing the blood that had seeped from the cut skin.

"See, all that's left is the frenulum," he explained. This bit of tissue held the foreskin to his penis, but as the foreskin's gone, it's useless now, so I'm going to remove it. With the scissors, he sliced through the band of tissue, cutting it away and leaving a deep triangular groove under the head. The small artery gushed and the doctor put in a suture to staunch the bleeding.

"Now all that's left is to finish the operation with sutures," he said as he picked up the needle with a hemostat. He carefully put in a dozen sutures, stitching the cut edges of the inner and outer layers together.

"There, it's over," he said as he began wrapping Peter's injured penis with gauze. It'll be sore for a week or more, but it'll heal and he'll look like your boys." By this time, the ether had evaporated from the mask, and the nurse removed it from Peter's face.

"Stay with him until he wakes up, and you can take him home," he said as he left the room. Peter began stirring after a few minutes, gradually becoming aware of his surroundings and what had been done to him. When he was awake, his uncles helped him dress, carefully pulling his underwear and pants on to cover the bandaged area, and drove him home.

Once home, Peter felt the need to urinate, and as he headed for the bathroom, Uncle Buck accompanied him. He watched as Peter dropped his pants and shorts, and gingerly pointed his penis at the bowl. The doctor had left a gap in the bandage at the end of the glans to allow the stream to flow freely, and Buck watched as Peter relieved himself. When he was finished, Buck dabbed the end of his penis with a wadded piece of toilet paper to remove the lingering drop.

Cousin Johnny was curious as to the result, and that evening came into Peter's room as he was going to bed. Peter was embarrassed, and at first was reluctant to remove his clothing to change into pajamas. He relented, however, and Johnny's face turned white when he saw the bandaged penis. Finally, Johnny left, and Peter climbed into bed. That night, he cried himself to sleep with the pain and the sense of loss.

They took him back to the doctor next week to have the bandage and sutures removed. In the small operating room, they removed his clothing again and once more hoisted him onto the table. When the doctor came in he told them to hold Peter tightly because this was going to hurt.

The doctor sliced through the bandage with scissors, exposing the newly bared head of the penis, then began removing the stitches. With each one, Peter cried out in pain. The cut edges were still raw, the healing not yet complete, and the tissues were very tender. Finally, the ordeal was over, and they let Peter get up from the table.

"It's still going to be sore for a couple of weeks," the doctor explained. "Just make sure he keeps it clean, and there should be no problems." Peter choked back tears as they left the doctor's office to go home.

That night, Johnny again visited Peter's room, eager to see the result now that the bandage had been removed. As Peter undressed, Johnny took out his own penis for comparison. Silently, they looked at each other. Johnny noted that Peter's tip was red and raw, and the scar line was also red, unlike Johnny's brown scar ring. Johnny's tip was dry and purple, as it had been exposed since a few days after his birth. Johnny's small tip was bell shaped, while Peter's glans had a helmet shape, with a flaring ridge.

Peter never forgot the experience, and it haunted him all of his life. Years later, he still had nightmares about his forced circumcision, the first heavy trauma in his young life.